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What do you do when your wonderful team has been destroyed? When all of your enemies mock you? When the whole football world regards you with derision, when they formerly treated you with respect? At the risk of sounding too Kiplingesque, that's when you know whether you have the strength to carry on. Vince Lombardi, the legendary coach of that American Football monstrosity used to say "being beaten isn't when you get knocked over; it's when you don't get up again". In that spirit, after our worst and most humiliating season, when more people watched a relegated team than ever before, we decided to hold a comedy night.
Maybe, madness is close to genius because it worked. At a time of maximum humiliation and deep recession we sold out the Tyneside Irish Centre for a Comedy Night and everyone, from comics to barmaids had a wonderful time.
We had goody bags for all containing waggon wheels and assorted ket that we're not allowed to eat anymore. We drank a load of beer, blathered away and had a blast. The Back Page got us a load of Toon related prizes and we raised £250 for the Tiny Lives Charity at the RVI. The Newcastle United Supporters Club recruited another 10 members on the night - not that we were mentioning our just and righteous campaign at all really, and three students who raised £7000 for Sir Bobby Robsons Appeal were given the rapturous applause from an audience full of courage and humour.The night was originally planned, I suppose as a "Thank god we survived that season" party (except we didn't) - but, thinking about that sentence, "we the people" did survive; our stupid owner didn't, our non-committal players didn't but "we" did. Romantic cobblers? Maybe, but I say this night for the fortunate 250 odd who were there marked a real change. It marked the time when we got over "it" and returned to our normal Geordie optimism, to the feeling that we wouldn't want to be anyone else from anywhere else and that at least we retain our most precious possessions, our courage, our humour and our club!
Anyway, the comics were ok too.....
First up was Simon Donald, except he bamboozled the compere and the audience by being intoduced as a Metro Questionnaire Collector...I swear when the feller introduced him , half the audience went "fooled again..£7 and they brought a substitute"...but Mr Donald took instant control...addressing the crowd and ensuring they paid proper attention. His first act ,which consisted of the incredibly creative obscenities which those of the charver persuasion conduct their lives, was a riot and got funnier as he lurched into greater absurdities satirising the bureaucratic fools who ask for such information and the real opinion of the real people. His next act, being "Dominic Farquar" a medic from Jesmond who was "quite literally, right, going to rip the whole roof off right" had us all nodding with recognition and laughing out loud...quite awsome and a real challenge for anyone to follow.
Good job we had Gavin Webster then. If you haven't seen Gavin, do so. Now. Soon, before he takes his rightful place at a national level. He has all of the craft of a seasoned performer, writes his own material and is one of us. His humour is derived from the people you work with, drink with and go to the match with...except it's funnier than that! He even plays the ukelele! It was a brilliant performance from a man at the start of something very very big. I'm not going to try to repeat the jokes or remember his lines but one really special thing stood out. At the end of his encore, after he had kept us laughing for an hour, he sang the "Blaydon Races", properly, and got everyone in the audience to sing along, properly. That bit wasn't a joke. That was the bit when we stopped being anaudience for a minute and remembered we are a community. That bit was spine-tingling, awe-inspiring and unforgettable. Thank you Gavin. We wont forget, after 9 months without much to laugh about, we get the whole thing in one night. Special.Luckily the Irish Centre had a late bar on so we could savour the wholesome feelings and wonder how the hell it all went so well. Several people asked when the next one is. For the unlucky ones who missed it there will be something similar at the same venue, the Irish Centre on Gallowgate, just down from St James Park on Thursday 22nd October. John Anderson headlines the Football talk in from 8pm then Gavin Webster will have us all roaring with laughter after that. You heard it here first. Contact www.nusc.org.uk for more details.
See more photos from the evening here
